The Hidden Cost of Going Above and Beyond
For years, I believed going the extra mile was the mark of leadership, of integrity, of ambition, of worth.
I prided myself on being the one who always showed up, who never dropped the ball, who could carry more.
But here’s what I’ve learned, and what the research now backs up:
That kind of over-functioning often doesn’t lead to promotions, praise, or peace.
It leads to resentment, burnout, and quietly being taken for granted.
A recent Harvard Business Review article put it plainly: when you give too much, too often, the system doesn’t say thank you, it adjusts its expectations. Your extra effort becomes the new normal, and the rewards? They rarely come.
But let’s be honest, we’re not just talking about effort.
We’re talking about identity.
We’re talking about how many of us have learned to tie our value to being productive, reliable, self-sacrificing - especially in roles where emotional labor is invisible and unmeasured.
The outcome?
You work harder, but feel less seen.
You bend over backward, but stay underpaid.
You push past exhaustion, but the finish line just keeps moving.
And somewhere in the middle of all that…
You lose touch with the part of you that knows rest is not laziness.
That “good enough” is still worthy.
That you don’t have to prove your worth to earn care.
I wrote this because I know what it’s like to wake up one day and not recognize yourself —
To realize that high performance came at the cost of your health, your joy, your identity.
If you're there right now, caught between your ambition and your exhaustion, you are not alone. And you don’t have to navigate your way back alone either.
→ If you're ready to reclaim your energy, your voice, and your value, reach out. I’m here to help.
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